Thursday, August 17, 2017

122:"How Many Heads You Got In The Duffel Bag? Less Than 8 I Hope" - 8 Heads In A Duffel Bag (1997)

The always hilarious Joe Pesci stars in 8 Heads In A Duffel Bag featuring SNL alum David Spade who is trying his best to make this movie enjoyable.  It's a dark comedy about, you guessed it, a duffel bag full o' heads.  Why did Joe Pesci keep doing comedies when he seems to detest the genre?  What was he doing in Michael Jackson's Moonwalker?  What ever happened to Andy Comeau?  How great was it when the racist vulgar granny got pushed off that cliff?  And can we never put the "You talkin' to me?" gag in a movie ever again?  Enjoy!

Sunday, August 13, 2017

121: "You Like Heroin? I Like Heroin!" - Sgt. Bilko (1996)

We got 3 SNL alums today.  Phil Hartman, Chris Rock and Big Fat Dan Aykroyd.  Along with Steve Martin in Sgt. Bilko from 1996.  Enjoy!
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Thursday, July 27, 2017

120: "What's This? Karate-oke?" - Duets (2000)

We found a weird one.  Maya Rudolph appears in the 2000 karaoke road trip drama Duets and she also acted as the film's music supervisor?  Paul Giamatti leaves his family, Huey Lewis hustles with his voice, Andre Braugher robs to sing, Gwyneth Paltrow saves her mayonnaise packets and Maria Bello uses blowjobs as currency all in their quest to win that cool cool $5,000 in the karaoke competition in Omaha.  What the fuck was this thing that we watched?  Words can only begin to describe the utter bizzareness of this film.  Special thanks to Karaoke Karl, wherever you are.  Enjoy!

Thursday, July 20, 2017

119: "Are You Having A Big Gay Sex Party In The Woods, Timothy Bottoms?" - Invaders From Mars (1986)

 
 
We're back and we're talking Laraine Newman this week and the 1986 Canon film classic Invaders From Mars.  Let's go up to the top of that hill and talk about a fairly charming in its own way horror movie where martians take over people's brains.  We're joined this week by George's new dog and his cat who make their presence known.  Once again we wonder why they hid all the cool 1980s robots from us and what George will be like as a parent when there are monsters under his child's bed.  Enjoy!

Thursday, July 13, 2017

118: "The Maury Povich Show Is Still In Its Infancy" - Father's Day (1997)




It's finally here!  We're doing Father's Day from 1997 featuring 3 SNL alums, Billy Crystal, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and the late great Charles Rocket.  Buckle up kids, this is a weird fucking movie.  Two strangers who boned the same chick 17 years ago team up to find their missing possible son.  You know you're in trouble when in one of the first scenes of the movie Robin Williams puts a gun in his mouth.  Where did Robin Williams get a closet full of disguises?  Why does Mel Gibson cameo in this movie?  How much did Sugar Ray pay to costar in this film?  Why couldn't this be a nice movie about Bruce Greenwood escaping from a porta-potty?  These questions and more on this week's episode of Saturday Night Jive.  Enjoy!

Thursday, July 6, 2017

117: " You Want To Play Donald Duck?" - Haunted Honeymoon (1986)

Original Not Ready For Primetime Player Gilda Radner stars in Haunted Honeymoon from 1986 directed by her then husband Gene Wilder.  This movie is terrible.  Dom DeLuise co-stars as a big fat lady who propels herself down a staircase with her farts.  Was this meant to be a comedy?  Is Gene Wilder a bad director, or a good director who doesn't know how to stage jokes?  Who cares who the villain is when you're introduced to 10 characters, each more boring than the next?  And can we stop with the "It was all a dream" twist ending?  We desperately try to fill an hour talking about this un-enjoyable comedy.  Enjoy!
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Thursday, June 29, 2017

116: "I Have A Problem With Your Inter-Dimensional Incest" - Chances Are (1989)

This week on Saturday Night Jive, Christopher MacDonald dies and gets reincarnated as Robert Downey, Jr..  After he graduates college he meets a girl and her mom, who happens to be his wife in his past life.  It's the most charming movie featuring a father trying to have sex with his daughter.  It's Chances Are starring SNL alum Robert Downey, Jr., Cybill Shepherd, Ben's favorite actor, Ryan O'Neal and our mom's favorite actress, Mary Stuart Masterston.  The real question here is, is it ever ok to have sex with your daughter?  Even if its through a weird reincarnation loophole, it's still weird.  But then again every relationship is messed up in this film.  Still, with all the problems, it is a charming romantic comedy.  Enjoy!
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Thursday, June 15, 2017

115: "Check Out The Ass On Dianne Wiest" - Cops And Robbersons (1994)

We're talking Chevy Chase this week and his ineptness to effectively scrape cream cheese off a bagel.  Cops And Robbersons stars Chase as a wannabe cop whose house is taken over by Jack Palance as part of a stakeout to catch the notorious Robert Davi.  Davi is such a bad ass that he shoots watermelons in his basement but not so much a bad ass that he can't figure out that his neighbor's brother is a good 30 years his senior.  We watched Chevy Chase display his lack of functioning motor skills, and why the hell is his kid a vampire?  All this and more on this week's episode of Saturday Night Jive.  Enjoy!
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Sunday, June 11, 2017

114: "Blowjob Rape Anal Thermometer" - Little Man (2006)

Sorry for the gross title but it seems like the dirtier the title the higher the count and it's an apt description for the movie we watched.  Little Man from 2006 features not only Tracy Morgan but Molly Shannon and Rob Schneider as well.  So many questions, so many issues, we barely scratch the surface of how bizarre and wrong this movie is.  If you like us please write an iTunes review and if you have anything to say shoot us an e-mail at saturdaynightjivepodcast@gmail.com Enjoy!
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Thursday, June 1, 2017

113: "Where The Nappy Dugout?" - Bulworth (1998)

It's Sarah Silverman week on Saturday Night Jive and apparently she's in Bulworth.  We watched Bulworth and didn't see her but we did see SNL alums Laurie Metcalf and Nora Dunn.  We also saw an hour and 47 minutes of Warren Beatty rapping and black people respecting him for it.  This is a pretty crappy movie but listen to us try and figure out just how far up his ass Warren Beatty's head is.  Enjoy!
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Thursday, May 25, 2017

112: "Light Beer. No Glass" - Mr. Destiny (1990)

For George's 35th birthday we watched a movie about Jim Belushi's 35th birthday.  For Belushi, he drank a concoction made by Michael Caine and traveled to an alternate dimension.  For George, we watched Mr. Destiny.  Michael Caine changes Jim Belushi's life by showing him what would have happened had he hit a baseball once.  One of the more perplexing movies we've seen, it's hard to wrap your head around a movie with where our hero cheats on his wife the first day he's in a different timeline.  Enjoy!
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Friday, May 19, 2017

111: 'He DOES Hate Mondays' - Garfield (2004)

There once was a man named Joel Cohen who had a name sounding like an Academy Award winning director and screenwriter.  This is the reason Bill Murray gives for starring in Garfield.  It doesn't explain why he appeared in a sequel though or how Bill Murray confused the writer/director of Fargo with a guy who would write a cript about a lasagna loving cat.  This movie was pretty painful to sit through but did give us an evil twin Stephen Tobolowsky and we finally got to see Jon Arbuckle get laid.
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Friday, May 12, 2017

110: "Malkovich Made A Dumb Fuck Robot" - Making Mr. Right (1987)

Laurie Metcalf was only a credited SNL cast member for 1 episode but that's a good enough reason to watch the 1987 robot romance starring John Malkovich Making Mr. Right.  The movie asks two major questions, should I give my robot a penis, and more importantly should I give that penis foreskin.  Most of the conversation this week stems from that scientific query.  Enjoy!
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Thursday, May 4, 2017

109: "Wallace Shawn's Gone Rogue For Poontang" - My Favorite Martian (1999)

Christine Ebersole was a cast member on SNL so we watched My Favorite Martian.  If you can think of a better premise for a podcast, I don't want to hear it.  This movie is wonderfully insane and includes our new favorite poop joke.  What does NASA want with Jerry Garcia's ashes?  Does Christopher Lloyd have a sexual relationship with his clothing?  What are Vin Diesel's opinions on martian spacesuits?  Did Daryl Hannah eat a man?  Why are so many people putting alien gum in their mouths?  And where's all the VHS dubbing in this movie?  These questions as well as an examination of what the hell we're doing with our lives in this week's episode of Saturday Night Jive.  Enjoy!
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Thursday, April 27, 2017

108: "What Is Tony Shalhoub" - Paulie (1998)

We're talking Jay Mohr this week, his inexplicable rise to fame and his 1998 family film Paulie where he plays a talking bird and a guy who can make an easy $20 by getting the bird to steal people's ATM codes.  This is a decent family film despite being incredibly saccharin.  How did Buddy Hackett lose out to Jay Mohr?  Why is Bruce Davison so evil?  Why does Tony Shalhoub play so many ethnicities?  How many ALMA awards does Cheech Marin win every year?  These questions and more in this week's Saturday Night Jive. Enjoy!
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Thursday, April 20, 2017

107: "Welcome Nerds And The Ann Risley Fan Club" - Simon (1980)

Are you ready for some obscurity?  Well we pulled out Ann Risley's name out of the hat and we watched Simon.  If that sentence makes absolutely no sense then you are probably not alone.  Nobody has seen this movie except a couple of nerds who know a lot about Italian operas and shuttle launches.  Alan Arkin stars as a professor who gets brainwashed into thinking he's an alien and some randomness ensues.  Who has time to write IMDB trivia?  How far do you go into your masturbation planning?  Was everyone high all the time when they were writing movies in the 70s?  These questions and more on this week's Saturday Night Jive.  Enjoy!
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Tuesday, April 11, 2017

106: "A Traditional Transylvanian Jelly Party" - Vampire Dog (2012)

Ever wanted to see a movie about a vampire dog?  Well you should probably watch a movie that isn't Vampire Dog starring SNL alum Norm MacDonald.  This movie has so little to do about a vampire dog and so much to do about winning the battle of the bands, charter schools, cosmetics, science class and mean girls.  A young boy inherits a vampire dog from his dead relative and this dog has all the signs of being a vampire, an affinity for red jelly, running around in the park, talking in a Canadian accent, bad jokes, farts, hypnotism eyes I think...  Anyway, this movie sucks but we have a fun conversation.  What makes a charter school?  What kind of villain is named Arbuckle?  Can janitors legally steal dogs?  How long does it take for jelly to set?  What's with that kid playing the recorder?  All these questions and more in this week's Saturday Night Jive.  Enjoy!
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Thursday, April 6, 2017

105: "Aye Yai Yai" - Power Rangers (2017)/That's My Boy (2012)

So Bill Hader is a voice in the new Power Rangers movie so Ben forced George to see it.  Surprisingly, it's not that bad.  You know what else isn't as bad as it sounds?  That's My Boy a movie starring Adam Sandler as a guy who impregnated his teacher when he was 13 and now attempts to be a dad.  It's twice the movie talk this week on Saturday Night Jive, this week with more masturbating to grandma.  Enjoy
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Saturday, April 1, 2017

104: "Jeffrey Jones: Salt Of The Earth" - Who's Your Caddy? (2007)

For 10 years we as a nation have been asking one question collectively.  Who's Your Caddy?  Turns out Finesse Mitchell made a little movie with Big Boi, Faizon Love, fellow SNL alum Garrett Morris and convicted sex offender Jeffrey Jones.  This movie strives to be black Caddyshack but ends up to be black Caddyshack II.  Join us for a discussion of Bill Clinton's favorite film and whatever happened to that dog that told David Berkowitz to murder?  Enjoy!
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Saturday, March 25, 2017

103: "If Taylor Negron Asks You To Train A Monkey..." - Funky Monkey (2004)/Steel Collar Man

A few weeks ago we learned that something existed on the internet too intriguing not to be discussed.  We watched the failed 1985 pilot for Steel Collar Man starring Charles Rocket as a robot.  After that we talk about the 2004 comedy featuring SNL alum Gilbert Gottfried Funky Monkey.  Matthew Modine rescues a monkey from an evil laboratory run by Taylor Negron and then takes him on a mission of self discovery.  Is Taylor Negron making love to the camera?  What convinced Matthew Modine to do a movie with a monkey?  Why so many Teen Wolfs?  Who has the most sexual chemistry in this movie?  How long does knockout spray last?  Should we be exposing our children to Taylor Negron?  All these questions and more in this week's Saturday Night Jive.  Enjoy!
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Saturday, March 18, 2017

102: "Testing The Jew Pants" - North (1994)

Rogert Ebert lived a long life and saw a lot of movies, this guy saw 'Caligula', 'Stop, Or My Mom Will Shoot", every movie we've seen for this podcast, but no movie filled him with so much hate other than Rob Reiner's North from 1994.  This is movie has a cavalcade of SNL alums including Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jon Lovitz, Dan Aykroyd and Alan Zwiebel.  Does the movie deserve the scorn it got?  Yes and no, it's perfectly inoffensive but it does have its faults.  Why would you put a character named Mr. Fingers in a children's movie?  Why include a tired Bruce Willis as an unnecessary narrator?  Why so casually racist?  Who is gonna test those jew pants?  Does George have a blatant ignorance about eskimos?  What does Dan Aykroyd feed his ass?  All these questions and more in this weeks Saturday Night Jive.  Enjoy!
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Saturday, March 4, 2017

101: "Not Much, But I Did Take That Big Shit" - Wagons East (1994)

You didn't think a 1990s western comedy could be worse than 'Almost Heroes', did you?  Well we found some more scum at the bottom of that barrel that also features an SNL cast member.  'Wagons East' starring Richard Lewis and John Candy and featuring a pretty funny performance by Mr. I'm Gonna Say The F Word On Live TV Then Get Murdered In A Cornfield And Call It A Suicide himself, Charles Rocket.  What a coincidence that 2 famous overweight comedians died filming bad western comedies.  The most interesting part of this movie if trying to spot a dead man's stunt double.  We talk about whether or not John Candy was actually a comic actor or just an actor who appeared in comedies, because he's not that funny, ponder some more theories on Charles Rocket's death and make a stand for legal murder.  Enjoy!
Also, if you're interested the Charles Rocket as a robot TV pilot we mention is called 'Steel Collar Man' and you can watch some of it on YouTube, and it is insane.
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Sunday, February 26, 2017

100: "Oh, Me Gibbers" - Johnny Be Good (1988)

Happy 100th episode!  In honor of that milestone we have accidentally unearthed one of the most incomprehensible movies ever made.  It's Johnny Be Good starring SNL alums Anthony Michael Hall and Robert Downey, Jr.  AMH plays a high school football star who is courted by college recruiters in this slightly absurd but painfully uninteresting film.  If you like bad improv, RDJ mugging and screaming, kicks to the nuts and musicals about interracial romances then this is the movie for you.  We find out a new euphemism for penis, get introduced to Uma Thurman, listen to a horrible Judas Priest cover song and question why the fuck we are still doing this after 100 episodes.  Enjoy!
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Sunday, February 19, 2017

99: "The Icing On A Cake Filled With Tears" - Snow Day (2000)

It's Chris Elliott week on Saturday Night Jive so we're talking about the 2000 Nickelodeon film "Snow Day" a kid's film starring Chevy Chase, Pam Grier, Stu The Bus Driver, Adults playing children, Iggy Pop in a neck brace and a farting fat kid.  The story of a creepy stalker trying to win the love of his life by stalking her and wearing her jewelry in a town where the news is the only thing on television.  Enjoy us asking how snow plows work and telling the story of the world's worst father and stay tuned for Ben's next podcast "Blackin' It Up!"  Enjoy!
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Sunday, February 12, 2017

98: "Hey, That's My Robot" - The Experts (1989)

It's Brian Doyle-Murray week on Saturday Night Jive and we have unearthed an insanely fun 80s oddity, The Experts.  John Travolta and Arye Gross star as two dumbass 80s nightclub guys who get kidnapped and sent to a secret town in Russia to open a happening go-go American nightclub in order to teach Russian spies how to be hip like MTV.  SCTV's Dave Thomas directed this comedy that is so 80s it even features a cool 80s robot.  It's a 80s Hope and Crosby-esque Road movie complete with montages, long dance sequences, bad hair, a commentary on socialism vs. capitalism, old ladies getting dildos, disturbing sex scenes and did I mention cool 80s robots?  John Travolta met his wife on this film and we get to see them consummate their marriage.  Sorry for the political talk in the middle but a movie about Russian politics got us into a thing.  Definite recommendations on this one.  Check out The Experts and enjoy us talking about it and George's shitty John Travolta impression.
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Monday, February 6, 2017

97: "Lips And Assholes" - The Great Outdoors (1988)

One more round of Dan Aykroyd as this week we are talking about The John Hughes penned The Great Outdoors.  This episodic comedy features a terrific performance from the Oscar winning Bart The Bear but is very light on gags.  We discuss the creepiness of twins, the shitiness of Nintendo games, Dan Aykroyd's dieting tips, swap stories about bats and raccoons, and the ridiculous lack of plot in this movie.  Does Robert Prosky have "Bear Shining"?  Why does a restaurant even have a 96 ounce steak in the freezer to serve to customers?  Was Robert Prosky planning a 'Weekend At Bernies' subplot?  Why is John Candy so mad at Dan Ayrkoyd when half of the time it is his own fault that he is having a miserable time?  All this and more on this weeks Saturday Night Jive.  Enjoy!
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Monday, January 30, 2017

96: "Thanks For The Buttcheeks, Darwin" - Evolution (2001)

This week on Saturday Night Jive we're back to Big Fat Dan Aykroyd and his re-teaming with Ghostbusters director Ivan Reitman in the 2001 film Evolution.  Also featuring an appearance by SNL alum Sarah Silverman, this big budget sci-fi comedy is brought to you by insane product placement by Head & Shoulders shampoo.  What do you do with such a product?  Well, you can wash your hair with it, or shove it up your ass as this movie does.  There's a big alien asshole in this movie and we spend most of the time talking about that but also discuss George's invalid theories of evolution, squids with 5 buttholes, Orlando Jones's fascination with butts, Julianne Moore's over qualifications for this movie, David Duchovney's lack of charisma and much more.  Enjoy!
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Monday, January 16, 2017

95: "It Smells Like Taint" - The Out-Of-Towners (1999)

It's Mark McKinney week on Saturday Night Jive and we're talking about the 1999 comedy that could only exist in New York.  It's The Out-Of-Towners starring Steve Martin and Goldie Hawn as a married couple in the twilight of their years going to the big city for a job interview.  Complications arise including only in New York set pieces like angry dogs, broken vending machines, sexaholic meetings, John Cleese in drag and having sex in front of Rudy Giuliani.  Enjoy!
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Saturday, January 7, 2017

94: "President Hat" - Red Heat (1988)

We're back to good old Jim Belushi and we watched the 1988 buddy cop comedy Red Heat.  Starring Belushi as a tough wise-cracking Chicago cop and Arnold Schwarzenegger as a humorless Soviet super cop partnered together for a plot that makes no sense.  There's lots of blood, lots of buses but no subtitles.  Enjoy!
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