Saturday, November 25, 2017

135: "Pamela Stephenson's Boobs" - Superman III (1983)

Whoever thought we'd be watching Superman III on the podcast?  Well, did you forget that Pamela Stephenson was in it?  Did you forget that Pamela Stephenson was a cast member on SNL?  Do you not have any idea who Pamela Stephenson is?  Well you will after watching Superman III, which, much to the surprise of both George and Ben, is their favorite Superman movie.  It's stupid, full of slapstick gags, has a main villain that doesn't even realize he is a villain and also includes a knock out brawl between Clark Kent and Superman.  Enjoy!

Thursday, November 16, 2017

134: "Kathleen Turner, Who Is Also Fat Now" - A Simple Wish (1997) / Cross My Heart (1987)

Two Martin Short movies separated by a decade.  We watched Cross My Heart a fairly forgettable romantic comedy featuring a performance worthy of a Best Supporting Actress Oscar from Annette O'Toole's breasts and A Simple Wish a confounding and insane movie about a male fairy godmother who makes a child's life worse at every turn.  If A Simple Wish is one of your favorite movies from childhood you should probably skip the last 20 minutes or so because things take a dark turn in our conversation.  Enjoy!

Friday, November 3, 2017

133: "Good On You, Ghost Kid" - Three Men And A Baby (1987)

If you were to tell me that 1/3 of Three Men And A Baby involved a mob subplot about heroin, I wouldn't believe you.  Wait a minute, of course I would believe you, as we've established so many times on this podcast, every movie from this time period involved a mafia subplot.  Strap in for some insanity as we dissect the biggest money maker of 1987, and Ghost Kid is the least weird thing about this movie.  Why did Ted Danson need to dress up as a woman for the drug bust?  It didn't seem to help him in any way.  Wait, why are you taking the baby to a drug bust?  Why would you think to give a baby to a bunch of mob toughs when they come looking for "a package"?  Surely, these goons are here to pick up the baby that was left on our doorstep.  Starring Tom Selleck, the architect, Steve Guttenberg, the cartoonist, Ted Danson, the actor, and Colin Quinn, the gift shop clerk.  Enjoy!

Thursday, October 26, 2017

132: "Merry Christmas C-Words" - 54 (1998)

Can you make a movie where all the characters are unlikable and nobody has an arc to follow?  Apparently you can and they did in 1998 with the movie 54.  Ryan Phillipe stars as a naive kid who gets a job as a busboy at the famous disco and has sex with some ladies, kisses some fellas and does some drugs.  SNL alum Mike Myers costars as club owner Steve Rubell, who is adamant that he suck some cock.  We watched the director's cut of the film which, having not seen the theatrical version, may be marginally better but not by much.  You know you're in for a bad movie when the Rapping Granny's cameo is the best part.  Enjoy!
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Thursday, October 19, 2017

131: "You're Wasting Your Magic On Bullshit" - Bewitched (2005)

Where am I?  How did I get here?  Is this the real universe?  Those are the questions raised after watching the most meta movie ever made Bewitched.  If this movie was half as concerned with plot and characters as it was with being self refferential it would be amazing.  It's not so it's a turd.  So many things are wrong.  Why do they establish a relationship between Michael Caine and Shirley MacLaine and not have it pay off?  Why is Steve Carrell playing Uncle Arthur when we've already established that Paul Lynde is Uncle Arthur in this universe?  Why doesn't Will Ferrell find out that Nicole Kidman is a witch until 10 minutes before the end of the film?  How do the nosy neigbors from the original series exist in the real world?  Am I in a snowglobe in the mind of an autistic child?  All these questions plus a conversation about The Good Place, the Nielsen ratings conspiracy, the state of television and, what what, we actually talk about Saturday Night Live?
Enjoy!

Thursday, October 12, 2017

130: "Blonde Hair, Blue Eyes, Tight Little Butthole" - Geppetto (2000)

Here it is.  The long awaited Geppetto.  The fist musical television event of the new millennium.  Drew Carey stars as everyone's favorite toy maker who goes out on his own adventure while his little wooden boy travels to Pleasure Island.  Why would anyone care about Geppetto, you say?  Well, what if I told you that he visits Wayne Brady, or a town where Rene Auberjonis manufactures children to your exact specifications?  Throw in an Emmy worthy performance by Brent Spiner as an insane puppeteer and you got yourself a weird movie that is worthy of being a running joke on Whose Line Is It Anyway?  This movie features 2 SNL cast members Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Ana Gasteyer.  Enjoy!

Thursday, October 5, 2017

129: "Stephen King's Let's Murder The President" - Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996)

For the second week in a row we are discussing a movie that graces the bottom 100 of IMDB's worst films.  Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace is an incomprehensible mess starring Matt Frewer taking over the role originated by Jeff Fahey.  He's a formerly mentally challenged gardener who is now a virtual reality deity, or something like that.  This movie makes very little sense and swe spend most of the podcast talking about the future, Stephen King, technology, Virtual Reality, Jim Carrey villains and other stuff.  Molly Shannon has one line as a homeless lady in case you were wondering why we picked this film.  Enjoy!