Thursday, September 14, 2017

126: "Ya Gotta Shave The Nips" - Mr. Wrong (1996)

Ellen DeGeneres starred in a romantic dark comedy in 1996 called Mr. Wrong.  Luckily for us it featured not only SNL alum Joan Cusack but also Ellen Cleghorne so we got to watch it and discuss it.  What a piece of shit.  This doesn't even seem like a real movie and that's not just because Mandeville Films didn't know where their production logo went.  Ellen falls in love with Bill Pullman and he turns out to be psycho.  Why not just break up with him, you ask?  We and the movie can not figure out the answer to that question.  How did nobody not know that Ellen was a lesbian?  Why did Dean Stockwell buy all those rings?  Why does Joan Plowright want her son to have a great big bonefest?  Why are the Mexican police so backwards?  And why didn't Pullman shave them nips?  All these questions and more on this week's Saturday Night Jive.  Enjoy!

Thursday, September 7, 2017

125: "Why Don't You Unbutton My Karate Pants" - Sidekicks (1992)

WWJPD?  We watch Sidekicks starring Chuck Norris, Jonathan Brandis and SNL alum Joe Piscopo as an evil karate teacher who also appears in visions as a racist caricature.  This is a bizarre little film where nobody can really tell what is real and what is reality.  Mainly we can't wrap our heads around the rules of the karate tournament which would almost assuredly end with Chuck Norris beating up children.  Enjoy!

Thursday, August 31, 2017

124: "I Love You Mom, In The Butt" - Marci X (2003)

Good gravy was this terrible.  Ben is adamant that this is the worst movie we've watched, George finds a few nuggets of gold in the shit.  Lisa Kudrow plays a Jewish princess who falls for an offensive rapper, he sings songs about his wiener and his butt and his wiener in butts.  The movie is racist, sexist, homophobic and, most offensive of all, unfunny.  Enjoy!

Thursday, August 24, 2017

123: "4 Shoes Or No Shoes" - Down Periscope (1996)

All hands on Kelsey Grammer's tattooed deck as we strap in for Down Periscope from 1996 featuring SNL alum Rob Schneider.  Kelsey Grammer commands a submarine with the motliest crew you've ever seen.  There's the fat guy, the crazy guy, the renegade, the degenerate gambler, the old drunk, the black guy, the w-w-w-woman?  This is a fairly enjoyable film, it's like Animal House underwater.  We get off topic slightly discussing Tom Arnold's make-a-wish kid and the possible plot of Moving Violations.  Enjoy!

Thursday, August 17, 2017

122:"How Many Heads You Got In The Duffel Bag? Less Than 8 I Hope" - 8 Heads In A Duffel Bag (1997)

The always hilarious Joe Pesci stars in 8 Heads In A Duffel Bag featuring SNL alum David Spade who is trying his best to make this movie enjoyable.  It's a dark comedy about, you guessed it, a duffel bag full o' heads.  Why did Joe Pesci keep doing comedies when he seems to detest the genre?  What was he doing in Michael Jackson's Moonwalker?  What ever happened to Andy Comeau?  How great was it when the racist vulgar granny got pushed off that cliff?  And can we never put the "You talkin' to me?" gag in a movie ever again?  Enjoy!

Sunday, August 13, 2017

121: "You Like Heroin? I Like Heroin!" - Sgt. Bilko (1996)

We got 3 SNL alums today.  Phil Hartman, Chris Rock and Big Fat Dan Aykroyd.  Along with Steve Martin in Sgt. Bilko from 1996.  Enjoy!
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Thursday, July 27, 2017

120: "What's This? Karate-oke?" - Duets (2000)

We found a weird one.  Maya Rudolph appears in the 2000 karaoke road trip drama Duets and she also acted as the film's music supervisor?  Paul Giamatti leaves his family, Huey Lewis hustles with his voice, Andre Braugher robs to sing, Gwyneth Paltrow saves her mayonnaise packets and Maria Bello uses blowjobs as currency all in their quest to win that cool cool $5,000 in the karaoke competition in Omaha.  What the fuck was this thing that we watched?  Words can only begin to describe the utter bizzareness of this film.  Special thanks to Karaoke Karl, wherever you are.  Enjoy!