Wednesday, June 20, 2018

153: "Marconi Plays The Mamba" - Rock Of Ages (2012)

Well, we got 6 minutes into Thomas And The Magic Railroad and were thoroughly perplexed so we switched to our backup Alec Baldwin film Rock Of Ages.  This jukebox musical features your favorite songs from the 80s done in a musical theater style.  You know, to make them shitty.  Tom Cruise gives a terrific performance while Baldwin doesn't seem to want to be there and why didn't they let Giamatti croon?

Monday, June 11, 2018

152: "That's A Pretty Big Leap, Joe Mantegna" - Mazes And Monsters (1982)

5 time host Tom Hanks is the name we picked out of the hat and we went back to the beginning with a TV movie from 1982 called Mazes And Monsters.  Hanks stars as a college kid with an unhealthy obsession with a Dungeons & Dragons style game.  Things get a bit nerdy as Ben shows off his D&D knowledge and George discusses his love for Criminal Minds.  Also George figures out why he's not good at role playing games.  Enjoy!

Thursday, May 31, 2018

151: "Sucking Cat Cock For Catnip" - Nine Lives (2016)

Meow, this was bad.  Frequent SNL host Christopher Walken stars in Nine Lives from 2016 starring a lifeless voice over performance from disgraced boy lover Kevin Spacey over footage of a CGI cat.  We watched Mr. Fuzzypants learn his lesson about being a good dad.  Enjoy!

Thursday, May 24, 2018

150: "The Tooth About Cats & Dogs" - Tooth Fairy (2010)

SNL 5 time host Dwayne Johnson is the name we picked out of the hat and we are watching the punderful family film Tooth Fairy which also features SNL alum Billy Crystal.  I hope you like puns because this movie has a mouthful.  Johnson stars as a hockey player who is either the biggest jerk in the world or the nicest guy ever depending on which scene in the movie he's in.  After telling a young girl that tooth fairies don't exist he is sentenced to be a tooth fairy.  He can't tell anyone that he is a tooth fairy because if people found out that tooth fairies do exist it would ruin the magic.  So, tooth fairies operate in secrecy, don't want people to know they exist, but if someone says they don't exist they punish them.  They also collect teeth in exchange for money for some unknown reason.  This movie has a lot of problems.  Enjoy!

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

149: "Uncle No-No's Home For Wayward Kangaroos" - Matilda (1978)

5 time SNL host Elliot Gould is the subject of this week's episode so we watched Matilda from 1978 starring Gould and a guy in a cheap looking kangaroo costume.  A poor immigrant comes to America with a kangaroo (for unknown reasons).  The kangaroo has a penchant for punching people in the face so they do what anyone would do, they partner with a sleazy talent agent and try to get the kangaroo a boxing license so it can compete for the heavyweight title.  There is also a, you guessed it, mafia subplot featuring the guy who played Luca Brasi in The Godfather.  This movie is pretty unwatchable but stupid enough to be bearable.  Sorry for the delay in new episodes, while we've been recording I have been way behind in getting them edited.  Enjoy!

Monday, April 16, 2018

148: "God Bless You, Penis" - Gigli (2003)

Ugh.  SNL 5-timer Ben Affleck was the name we picked out of the hat and what better way to honor his impressive comedy skills than to watch the 2003 dud Gigli.  This thing is a big fat turd.

Saturday, April 7, 2018

147: "Like Carl Lewis, In All Ways" - Pumpkin (2002)

Not since Hot To Trot have we been so divided on a film.  We're on to the SNL 5 timer's club now and our first hat pick is Melissa McCarthy who had a small but pivotal role in the 2002 film where Christina Ricci falls in love with a mentally challenged teenager.  We're talking Pumpkin, a movie that Ben loved and George couldn't stand.  A lot of questions are raised this week including the most important one of all.  Are we retarded and just nobody's telling us?