127: "Dan Aykroyd's Jowls Should Not Jiggle In Slow Motion" - Shortcut To Happiness (2003)

You've never heard of Shortcut To Happiness?  Maybe you know it as Sexy Devil or maybe you're more familiar with The Devil And Daniel Webster.  Whatever you call it, it is one of the worst made movies we've ever watched.  Alec Baldwin made his directorial debut with this updated take on the classic short story which turns poor farmer Jabez Stone who made a deal with the devil into a struggling novelist who humps the devil and gains success.  This is on par with The Room as to how poorly it is shot and edited.  Are you ready for some circle wipes and slow-mo?  Anthony Hopkins plays Daniel Webster, he's not a lawyer which would make sense as he defends Alec Baldwin in hell court at the end, he's a book publisher and, we think, an ancient demon hunter.  We watched this movie for Darrell Hammond but we got a surprise appearance by Amy Poehler and, as always, Big Fat Dan Aykroyd.  Enjoy!

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126: "Ya Gotta Shave The Nips" - Mr. Wrong (1996)

Ellen DeGeneres starred in a romantic dark comedy in 1996 called Mr. Wrong.  Luckily for us it featured not only SNL alum Joan Cusack but also Ellen Cleghorne so we got to watch it and discuss it.  What a piece of shit.  This doesn't even seem like a real movie and that's not just because Mandeville Films didn't know where their production logo went.  Ellen falls in love with Bill Pullman and he turns out to be psycho.  Why not just break up with him, you ask?  We and the movie can not figure out the answer to that question.  How did nobody not know that Ellen was a lesbian?  Why did Dean Stockwell buy all those rings?  Why does Joan Plowright want her son to have a great big bonefest?  Why are the Mexican police so backwards?  And why didn't Pullman shave them nips?  All these questions and more on this week's Saturday Night Jive.  Enjoy!

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125: "Why Don't You Unbutton My Karate Pants" - Sidekicks (1992)

WWJPD?  We watch Sidekicks starring Chuck Norris, Jonathan Brandis and SNL alum Joe Piscopo as an evil karate teacher who also appears in visions as a racist caricature.  This is a bizarre little film where nobody can really tell what is real and what is reality.  Mainly we can't wrap our heads around the rules of the karate tournament which would almost assuredly end with Chuck Norris beating up children.  Enjoy!

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124: "I Love You Mom, In The Butt" - Marci X (2003)

Good gravy was this terrible.  Ben is adamant that this is the worst movie we've watched, George finds a few nuggets of gold in the shit.  Lisa Kudrow plays a Jewish princess who falls for an offensive rapper, he sings songs about his wiener and his butt and his wiener in butts.  The movie is racist, sexist, homophobic and, most offensive of all, unfunny.  Enjoy!

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123: "4 Shoes Or No Shoes" - Down Periscope (1996)

All hands on Kelsey Grammer's tattooed deck as we strap in for Down Periscope from 1996 featuring SNL alum Rob Schneider.  Kelsey Grammer commands a submarine with the motliest crew you've ever seen.  There's the fat guy, the crazy guy, the renegade, the degenerate gambler, the old drunk, the black guy, the w-w-w-woman?  This is a fairly enjoyable film, it's like Animal House underwater.  We get off topic slightly discussing Tom Arnold's make-a-wish kid and the possible plot of Moving Violations.  Enjoy!

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122:"How Many Heads You Got In The Duffel Bag? Less Than 8 I Hope" - 8 Heads In A Duffel Bag (1997)

The always hilarious Joe Pesci stars in 8 Heads In A Duffel Bag featuring SNL alum David Spade who is trying his best to make this movie enjoyable.  It's a dark comedy about, you guessed it, a duffel bag full o' heads.  Why did Joe Pesci keep doing comedies when he seems to detest the genre?  What was he doing in Michael Jackson's Moonwalker?  What ever happened to Andy Comeau?  How great was it when the racist vulgar granny got pushed off that cliff?  And can we never put the "You talkin' to me?" gag in a movie ever again?  Enjoy!

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121: "You Like Heroin? I Like Heroin!" - Sgt. Bilko (1996)

We got 3 SNL alums today.  Phil Hartman, Chris Rock and Big Fat Dan Aykroyd.  Along with Steve Martin in Sgt. Bilko from 1996.  Enjoy!
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