Thursday, July 26, 2018

158: "Miami: The Land Of Cockfights" - Stick (1985)

Burt Reynolds is Ernest "Stick" Stickley in Elmore Leonard's Stick.  Directed by Reynolds, this 80s action movie is pretty decent (and available on YouTube) except for the tacked on love interest, which is the reason we watched the film.  We pulled 5 timers club member Candice Bergen out of the hat and she shows up about 40 minutes in to have sex with Stick and then she promptly exits the movie.  It's not her fault, nobody can resist Stick.  If you don't want to have sex with him you either want to kill him or be his best friend.  I'm a little surprised that the albino assassin didn't try to make out with him.  After a drug deal gone wrong, Stick loses his best friend and plots revenge on those responsible usually resorting to his favorite method, lighting people and things on fire.  Enjoy!

Thursday, July 19, 2018

157: "Poop Juice On The Jambalaya" - Bringing Down The House (2003)

It's Steve Martin week on SNL and we watched Bringing Down The House from 2003 starring Martin, Queen Latifah, Eugene Levy and racist old Betty White.  It's truly bizarre how we come across so many racist movies just by picking random actor names out of a hat.  We watched Soul Man, Krippendorf's Tribe, Who's Your Caddy? and Marci X but this week brings us another squeamish gem as Steve Martin gets catfished by a convict and travels down a rabbit hole where everyone hates black people.  That's not too hard in this film as all the black people are just walking and talking racist stereotypes.  Enjoy!

Saturday, July 14, 2018

156: "Chekhov's Humping Elephants" - The Love Guru (2008)

It took 156 episodes but we are just finally getting to The Love Guru.  Why are we talking about this 2008 gem starring Mike Myers as a fame hungry self help charlatan?  Because 5 timers club member Justin Timberlake co-stars as Jacques "Le Coq" Grande a Canadian hockey player with a huge dick.  If you think that joke is funny then you should watch this film because they beat that into the ground along with every other unfunny thing that popped into Mike Myers's head.  Verne Troyer is small, Indian people have funny names, jokes you said on the playground when you were 7 still work when you are an adult and if all else fails how about a kick to the nuts.  It's a sight to behold as it almost seems like they are trying to make the worst movie ever made.  Was this all a "Producers" like scam to abscond with 60 million dollars?  And what's with the incessant mugging to the camera?  All this and more on this week's episode of Saturday Night Jive.  Enjoy!

Saturday, July 7, 2018

155: "Monkeys Are Different Than Dogs" - Beverly Hills Chihuahua (2008)

We pulled SNL 5 timers club member Drew Barrymore out of the hat so we watched Beverly Hills Chihuahua alone in the dark on a Saturday night.  We make good life decisions.  Chloe is a pampered pooch living the good life when she gets lost in Mexico and forced into the underground world of dog fighting.  While technically this is a movie, it is not a good one.  Enjoy!