132: "Merry Christmas C-Words" - 54 (1998)

Can you make a movie where all the characters are unlikable and nobody has an arc to follow?  Apparently you can and they did in 1998 with the movie 54.  Ryan Phillipe stars as a naive kid who gets a job as a busboy at the famous disco and has sex with some ladies, kisses some fellas and does some drugs.  SNL alum Mike Myers costars as club owner Steve Rubell, who is adamant that he suck some cock.  We watched the director's cut of the film which, having not seen the theatrical version, may be marginally better but not by much.  You know you're in for a bad movie when the Rapping Granny's cameo is the best part.  Enjoy!

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131: "You're Wasting Your Magic On Bullshit" - Bewitched (2005)

Where am I?  How did I get here?  Is this the real universe?  Those are the questions raised after watching the most meta movie ever made Bewitched.  If this movie was half as concerned with plot and characters as it was with being self refferential it would be amazing.  It's not so it's a turd.  So many things are wrong.  Why do they establish a relationship between Michael Caine and Shirley MacLaine and not have it pay off?  Why is Steve Carrell playing Uncle Arthur when we've already established that Paul Lynde is Uncle Arthur in this universe?  Why doesn't Will Ferrell find out that Nicole Kidman is a witch until 10 minutes before the end of the film?  How do the nosy neigbors from the original series exist in the real world?  Am I in a snowglobe in the mind of an autistic child?  All these questions plus a conversation about The Good Place, the Nielsen ratings conspiracy, the state of television and, what what, we actually talk about Saturday Night Live?

Enjoy!

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130: "Blonde Hair, Blue Eyes, Tight Little Butthole" - Geppetto (2000)

Here it is.  The long awaited Geppetto.  The fist musical television event of the new millennium.  Drew Carey stars as everyone's favorite toy maker who goes out on his own adventure while his little wooden boy travels to Pleasure Island.  Why would anyone care about Geppetto, you say?  Well, what if I told you that he visits Wayne Brady, or a town where Rene Auberjonis manufactures children to your exact specifications?  Throw in an Emmy worthy performance by Brent Spiner as an insane puppeteer and you got yourself a weird movie that is worthy of being a running joke on Whose Line Is It Anyway?  This movie features 2 SNL cast members Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Ana Gasteyer.  Enjoy!

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129: "Stephen King's Let's Murder The President" - Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996)

For the second week in a row we are discussing a movie that graces the bottom 100 of IMDB's worst films.  Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace is an incomprehensible mess starring Matt Frewer taking over the role originated by Jeff Fahey.  He's a formerly mentally challenged gardener who is now a virtual reality deity, or something like that.  This movie makes very little sense and swe spend most of the podcast talking about the future, Stephen King, technology, Virtual Reality, Jim Carrey villains and other stuff.  Molly Shannon has one line as a homeless lady in case you were wondering why we picked this film.  Enjoy!

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